Forget Babyccinos and bike lanes. In today’s Brooklyn Paper I finally found a Park Slope controversy I can really sink my teeth into- The Montgomery Place Half-Spot Hoarders!
We’ve all been there, driving in concentric circles, looking for a spot. Up ahead you see what looks like a spot, but like a mirage it disappears as you get closer. It’s the dreaded half-spot, not big-enough for a car, but an incredible waste of parking real estate.
Apparently at the doormen at 27 Prospect Park West, who park the cars for its tenants, intentionally create un-parkable “half spaces” on Montgomery Place to save spots. So when a resident drives up, move one car forward and one care backward, and viola, a space appears out of thin air.
As someone who takes his parking very seriously, this kind of behavior infuriates me. Technically it’s not illegal, but it should be, and a felony at that! Trust me if Dante had a car in Park Slope, he would have reserved a special circle in hell for the half-spot hoarder, right between the blasphemers and the sodomites.
After finding out about this parking fraud, I swallowed my bile in my throat, calmed down and decided to see if it was true. A quick look at street view on Google maps showed an extraordinarily large amount of “half-spots.”
I urge everyone with SmartCars, Minis, scooters, rickshaws and any vehicle small enough for a half-spot, and park on Montgomery Place. This spot tyranny will not stand. It’s time to take back our spots!
These vermin are the above-ground equivalent to the loathsome scum who use their packages or a ‘wide stance’ to hog two seats on a crowded subway train. At least underground peer pressure will usually prevail. They should be tarred, feathered and run out of town on a rail!
I love everything about this post. Even that you left the r out of tyranny.