It was blistering yesterday, but I was very disappointed with the dearth of topical “Its so hot” jokes. So I channeled my inner Carson…

It’s so hot… Williamsburg hipsters have started wearing “wife beaters” for non-ironic reasons.

It’s so hot… in Queens they are using Huma Abedin’s stares at Anthony Weiner as a cooling stations.

It’s so hot… the guy who suntans in just a gold lame thong is switching to a more breathable linen thong.

It’s so hot… the temperature is higher than Jorge Posada’s batting average.

It’s so hot… Greenpoint barbers haven’t been able to keep with the demand for musicians shaving off their beards

It’s so hot… Park Slope moms are going to Bikram Yoga spas to cool down

It’s so hot…Dick Wolf introduces Law & Order: Special Cooling Center.

It’s so hot… David Chang opened a frozen yogurt stand Momofroyo (but lines are so long no one can get in.)

It’s so hot… Donald Trump is actually having a GOOD hair day.

It’s so hot… Brooklyn College is now offering a degree in the binary language of moisture vaporators.

It’s so hot… Uncle Louie Gee is going public with an IPO.

It’s so hot… Steve Jobs is wearing a black turtleneck dickey.

Hiyooo!