It’s All Sweetness and Light, Until Mother Overreacts

Another innocent bystander!

There was an article in the New York Times yesterday that got me thinking.  Times columnist Susan Dominus had taken her 3 year old twins to the Ancient Playground in Central Park, and as they were enjoying the winter wonderland, a snowball fight broke with some of the older children. Ms. Dominus was struck by a snowball, was inscensed and demanded to know who the guilty culprits were.  The tweens were ratted out, and she proceeded to berate the children’s babysitter, who eventually left the playground in shame with angry children in tow, and Ms. Dominus was left to wonder if she was a spoil-sport or the last responsible parent.

Commenters on the article were torn between “kid-will-be-kids” and “you go mom,” with a number of digs at Susan’s multiple name drops of Dean & DeLuca that screamed elitist.

As a tween I’d been involved in my share of snowball melees, but this was in the genteel suburbs, not the hard scrabble mean streets between the gang den called The Metropolitan Museum of Art and thug training ground known as Marymount Prepatory School for Girls.

But it did raise the question of how do you handle the inevitable age conflicts at the playground?  With the exception of tot lots, playgrounds are there for kids 2-12, all running pell mell. My 2 1/2 year old son often wants to play with the older kids, and I find myself torn in letting him have fun, and pulling him out of harms way.  I tend to have a philosophy that he’ll learn his limitations quicker from a knock on his keaster than he would with from his dad explaining that he’s too small to play with the big kids. Of course this means occasionally plucking him out when he’s in over his head, but I think he learns from that as well.

As far as other kids behavior is concerned, unless a child is being overtly aggressive, I try not to get involved; I may be on squirrel patrol, but I’m not the playground police.

Did Karl Marx Really Like Organic Lacinato Kale?

“He who does not work, neither shall he eat” – Vladimir Lenin

Let me preface this by saying that I believe in sustainable agriculture. I love Michael Pollan and Alice Waters. I am a foodie progressive. But how come Marxism has become so tied to healthy food in Park Slope? I love fresh insecticide free fruits and vegetables, but do I have to sign-on for The Great Leap Forward to get them? The most popular organic food options in Park Slope require you to make a financial and/or labor commitment.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand the communal/coop system of shared responsibility, and in an ideal world it makes perfect sense. But I live in a world that requires most of my time be devoted to my job, and what little I have left goes to my family. So call me bourgeoisie if I do a little research to get the best bang-for-my-buck (and back) before I march to forced labor to get non-poisoned food.

PARK SLOPE FOOD COOP /PARK SLOPE CSA / URBAN ORGANIC

Park Slope Food Coop

When most people think about organic food in Brooklyn they usually think the Park Slope Food Coop. It really is a remarkable organization in their size and longevity. The Park Slope Food Coop, was founded in 1973 by a small group of neighbors who wanted to make healthy, affordable food available to everyone who wanted it, and are now the largest active food co-ops in the United States. They have over 15,000 members who run most day to day operations and the coop carries a wide selection of produce and groceries.

Only members can shop at the coop.

The Park Slope Food co-op requires a $25 membership fee, and a $100 “investment” for each adult.

And each adult is required to work 2 hours and 45 minutes once every four weeks.

So in order to save “20 – 40%” on groceries, my family will need for fork over $250, and work 71.5 a year. Even if you value your time at minimum wage, that’s $768 the first year. (It makes Costco’s $50 membership seem like deal, and the Coop doesn’t even sell caskets.)

So I’ll have to spend over $2500 a year at the Food Coop to make it worthwhile financially, for an overcrowded supermarket, that has no parking, doesn’t deliver, and often gets its politics too involved in its food. Of course you can’t put a price tag on the feeling of your own self regard, (or the weird sense you might be in a cult.)

I know some members will say that is harsh. But harsh is the Coop’s double makeup policy, which says if you miss a work shift, you now owe two shifts. This sounds a lot like predatory credit card practices at the worst, or a lot like “The company store” at the least.

You load sixteen tons of organic onions, what do you get
Another day older and deeper in debt

Park Slope CSA

Another option is the local CSA, community supported agriculture. CSAs consists of a group who agree to support a farm operation where the growers and consumers share the risks and benefits of food production. At The Park Slope CSA, founded in 2000, you buy a share in the farm, and starting in June, you get 22 weeks of produce. You can’t get fresher food, a wide variety of fruits and veggies, and a lot of it, from June into November. There is also an option to buy flowers, eggs and other goods.

$644 gets you 22 weeks of vegies (20 weeks of fruit.) Membership for the 22 week season requires 5 hours of work (37 bucks at minimum wage) plus a $25 membership fee. So that’s $706 bucks you fork over for 8 1/2 pounds of veggies plus fruit a week. For argument sake that would run $1680 if you wanted produce for a year (which you cant have, damn that Northeastern winter!)

So that will only satisfy your organic jones for less than half a year, and you have to pick up your share either tuesday or Thursday afternoon (also no parking, no delivery) and you are at the whim of Farmer Ted and the weather . If there’s a late spring frost upstate, don’t count on those strawberries, and if there is a bumper crop of collard greens, better stock up on your Paula Deen recipes and ham hocks, you’ll be seeing them all until November.

Urban Organic
Urban Organic is a home delivery service of organic produce based in Park Slope, and has been around for over 10 years. They buy bulk produce, groceries and dairy organic farmers’ cooperatives, distributors and individual farmers.  All of our produce is Certified Organic.  You can also purchase organic dairy products and some other organic groceries.

In addition to a one time $25 membership fee, $34.99 gets you 15-18 items organic fruits and vegetables, (1-3 pieces of each item) a week, delivered to your home. You don’t get to pick exactly what you want, but they post online what the next box will have, and you can make limited substitutions, say you don’t like collard greens. (They also have smaller, $24.99, and larger $44.99 boxes.) $1845 a year for the standard box.

Mind you, this is not for your locavores, its all organic, but a lot of it is from the major agribusinesses, and often shipped from thousands of miles away, especially in late fall and winter.

Other Options…

In Brooklyn there are a lot of options to get organic produce, in addition to the growing organic sections in local supermarkets, there are several farmers markets that have loads of organic produce (although don’t be fooled, just because it grown locally, doesn’t mean its organic), Fairway and Trader Joe’s have decent organic sections, Fresh Direct has a decent and growing organic selection, and while the Whole Foods in Gowanus may be on hold, the Bowery Whole Foods store in Manhattan does deliver to much of Brooklyn.

Many these options have been deemed as being too expensive, but once you factor in the hidden costs of the coop and CSAs, and the fact that I don’t need to spend every 4th Saturday afternoon stocking shelves, they don’t seem so bad.  (And as an added bonus my dad will stop calling me a pinko.)

That Guy

I wasn’t sure what kind of father I would be, but I didn’t want to be “That guy.” You now the guy, a dad who looks overwhelmed, lost his individuality, lost will will to live.

Merrell merrell jungle moc

Jungle Mocs, hideously comfortable

Looks like he just rolled out of bed, wears fleece everything and overly comfortable shoes.

Oh, no, I wasn’t gonna be that guy…

In the last year I wore my first fleece sweatshirt and my first pair of loafers,  Merrell Jungle Mocs, (possibly the most comfortable, yet ugliest shoe created.)

The fleece was a gift from my mom I never worn, I had to run out to the store one morning and needed to throw something over that oatmeal stain.  I grabbed the Old Navy fleece, and it was so soft and comfortable, and suddenly I didn’t care that it was made from  toxic plastic bottles. I have since gotten 2 more.

I stumbled across the loafers on sale at DSW. They were so hideous looking, like suede potato-bugs, that I tried them on as a joke.  They slipped on and off so easily, they were waterproof, warm in the snow, and made my Converse feel like some kind of GitMo torture shoe.  I wore them out of the store and relegated my Chuck Taylors to the back of the closet.

So yes, I am slowly morphing into “that guy.”  But I can still clean up “purty good,” but if I’m going to be chasing a toddler through the zoo all day, I better be dry, warm, and comfortable.

Besides, I draw the line at draw-string pants…actually, do you think those Penguin lounge pants are stain resistant?

This is not my beautiful house! This is not my beautiful wife!

<span How did I get here?
In the back of my head, I always thought I'd be a father someday…the key word is someday.  But in the meantime I was just going to enjoy life. And being an indie J.A. in New York, there is a lot to enjoy.  As I was floating through my existence, I woke wand realized I now had a beautiful wife, 2 beautiful cats, an beautiful son, and a beautiful home.  It was very anti-kafkaesque, I was the same, but everything else was different, and better. More Frank Capra than Franz Kafka. In any event, raising a brood in Brooklyn has been a trip.  Turns out I really really like being a dad and a husband, a lot more than I i liked being a hipster doofus, and I'd like to share my discoveries and observations, and get yours.
My entourage then…  and now!